The Male Child
Jun 05, 2018 Opinion 0 By Ruth Bamidele Adetayo
It is saddening to note that while raising awareness for the girl child, little or nothing is done for the male child and they’re oftentimes neglected. These days, everywhere you turn, there is some sort of campaigns, NGOs, hashtags e.t.c all in the favor of females, which forces the males to be relegated to the back.
In most Nigerian homes, girls are imparted with all the training the parents has to offer. The house chores, moral upbringing, scrutiny and otherwise are mostly if not always focused on the females. While the males are left to grow on their own, left
to choose what is right and wrong all by themselves. Girls are placed on restricted movements, while the boys are given all the liberty to do, move and go as they please. Oftentimes, we see these young men out there on the street, because they had fallen into the wrong hands of peer pressure.
It is written in the Bible, train up a child in the way he should go so that when he’s old, he’ll not depart from it. Parents, what do you think will happens when young children are left to determine right from wrong all on their own? Most times, it doesn’t end well.
Everyday, we hear stories of women abusers, come across social misfits and all sorts of negativity trailing the males. Don’t be quick to judge such persons, because if you actually trace their roots, you’ll be surprised that 90% of them has the parents to blame for their lack of upbringing. Honestly let’s face it, if only parents would make more efforts to prepare men to be good husbands, just the exact way they prepare women to be good wives, we will have better homes.
Recently, a friend of mine opened up on how he was molested at the tender age of 5, by his aunt. He couldn’t open up because nobody would’ve believed him and that made him so withdrawn. The once jovial an outgoing child, became a shell of his former self. He became introverted and just started coming out of his shell after seeking therapy at the age of 20. One can only help but imagine the burden he carried for 15 years.
Parents, please note that your sons can be molested too, not only girls are victims of child molestation. These kids becomes easy prey to sexually starved individuals, that use them as improvised sexual objects, with either promises of treats, threats to kill them, or report a past deed to their parents. So they comply to the sick requests of these pedophiles, and become withdrawn because their innocent world has been altered.
It is easier to to tell if a female has been molested than a male, simply because of availability of evidence. A medical report can be carried out on the girl, but I don’t think any is available for the boy. I stand to be corrected. My friend’s story prompted me to reach out to my other male friends and I discovered that 3 out of 5 at some point in their lives were molested by so called trusted individuals.
Parents, be your child’s friend and you’ll never regret it. Create a friendly environment where they’re free to discuss any and everything with you. If your once outgoing child becomes withdrawn, take your time to find out what happened. Teach your sons that their privates are important as their sisters. Always be vigilant with your children, and give them the avenue to express themselves.
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